You know folks, every time I'm in New Jersey (and seeing as its placed conveniently on a not-so-discreet route between the Commonwealth's of Pennsylvania and New York, it's somewhat unavoidable), I can't help but marvel at the cute, kitschy feel of some of its communities. Whether it's the "glad to meet you neighbor!" vibe of small towns like Irvington or just the charming atmosphere of Jersey City, northern New Jersey has something to offer for just about everyone.
I couldn't have been more pleased when, one brisk January afternoon when traveling down historic Rt. 10 I happened to come upon the quaint little shop know as the Adult Playtime Boutique. Truth be told, I only just stopped to ask directions to the nearest Dunkin' Donuts location, but boy oh boy am I glad I stopped in there!
Just as soon as I stolled past the tounge-in-cheek "Do Not Enter if Under 18" sign I knew I was in for a treat. The staff greeted me with a kindly hello and a warm, welcoming smile you can tell for sure can be born only from a sincere love of what they're doing. The place was clean and friendly, with a an open floor-plan designed to keep an easy flow of traffic through the store, while also directing the customers attention to some of their more remarkable merchandise, including a world class collection of 18" dildos (with or without testicles!) and a row of anal beads more varied in size and color than the clientele themselves!
The impressive collection of films new and old included staples like
Tiger's Got Wood and
Porn Star Brides, but it hardly stopped there. The world of independent cinema was well represented with such critically acclaimed entries as
Big Boob Orgy 2, lesser known outings from more eminent directors like Quentin Tarantino's
Anal Fuck Creampie or Chinese filmmaker Wang Bing's seminal, though under-viewed
Barely Legal '98, and even titles unheard of such as
Amateur Porn Star Killer 3 and
Cock-Happy.
The pièce de résistance
of the whole operation, however, was what they deemed the Adult Arcade, although I'm not certain the etymology of the title, for it was not particularly interactive. Regardless, what a thrill and how delightful of them to include such a feature as well! The local police force seemed to agree with this assessment too, as, though not in uniform, several of them would stroll in at a time to enjoy a personal moment of quiet reflection and catch a quick flick. Essentially you're treated, for a price of less than $5, to a personal showing of any film of your choice! The odor in the room was surprisingly pungent that day, I'm going to assume it had something to do with a ventilation problem they were having because the room was also fairly sticky. Other than that minor roadblock, it was smooth sailing for me as I managed to watch pieces of both
The Craving and
True Porn Fiction in the 30-plus minutes I spent there. They even had holes drilled into the walls so you could chat with your neighbor about your movie if you so choose.
All things considered, The Adult Playtime Boutique had a polite, amiable feeling to it, and its a shop that I'll be sure to frequent whenever I'm around. Highly Recommended!
Till Next Time!
Bud Reilly, Truck Driver Extraordinaire
